Never be will never see
by WhenIGoDown
Summary: He kisses me with sweet nothings, as his throat is coated with dope and prostitute blood. He whispers I love you, like a band-aid that heals all wounds. I can't come to leave you as blood leaves this earth. R&R Could turn into a story depending on R


Who are you to condemn me for what I was and possibly still am? You must be high again, smoking dope is your way to cope with the things I just won't let you do because you know I love you. And you run to your prostitutes after those fights we have because you know I'm not going to give myself over, but even as you're screwing their brains out you're still thinking of that silly little fight we had back at home. With you yelling and me yelling just as anxiously back, tigers in a pen turning against each other. Family "tradition" really doesn't matter much to any of us anymore.

With those angry red eyes and those hands that could crack my neck in two I'll stand up against. Refusing to be oppressed with your ideas of how I should live my life, which friends I should not see, and those whom I'm not allowed touching. Because I know you only want to control me, to oppress me, to _own _me. You want this heart to beat for you, even if it's out of hate you don't care. You'll trap me and attack me leaving me wounded and weak and ready to give up.

You whisper those sweet nothings in my ear and drop them into my mind like time-bomb candies. Tick, tick, tick, sooner or later they will go off and a perfume fragrance will escape through my ears and nose and with it comes leaking my mind as it drools and slobbers over your ability to love me and wish to be loved by me. And I know that all these time-bomb candies will cause me to melt and have my heart beat for you and only you, but that comes with time and with time comes the ability to fight it. To suppress my feelings for you until we come home and I receive my daily punishment.

A punishment of more time-bomb candies but with it comes pain with a hint of pleasure that can no longer take over the agonising defeat of knowing that I am beneath someone who protects me, who loves me (to the best of your abilities), who is so selfish that I am becoming your possession as compared to your lover. And I say I refuse to be oppressed but in bed, as our naked clad bodies brush and rub and hands evade and invade each and every corner, exploring the anatomy with tongues and soft pants all while slipping out sweet nothings between cries of agonising need. But I am truly oppressed but not depressed.

These onyx eyes that defy, to those red ones that demand, you want in. You want more than I can handle and more than I can stand. But I'll give it to you, as you own me. And since you are the cruelest addiction I've ever had, with those ice-cold hands that roam over me as I think of your constant need to show your masculinity, I'll stay for the mere thrill of this high. The high of hearing sweet angry words slip into my head, reclaim me and demand me again and again.

Oh no, what have you done now? Tonight you came to me, bruised and bloodied. I know I should stop believing in you, when you say it's the last time... last time you kill the woman you slept with, last time you went and slept around, and the last time you threw me onto the bed. Angry. All I can do is fear you, fear your cold gaze and smooth flesh that paints your bones but what are you going to do? You wouldn't dare kill me, you told me that you loved me so. But didn't everyone else die? Didn't mom and dad die? But now I remember, you despised them instead of love them.

I hope they screamed in their final breaths, "I love you", so it haunts your every thought. As you're entering this house built on tradition long forgotten I hope flashbacks nip and skim and rip and tear at you. But I shouldn't wish such things as you slip inside me once again, I can hear the creek of the bed as it echoes in my mind. Again, you create this heated friction that is so very unlike you. You are the complete opposite of warmth; you are hatred, neglect, abuse and obsession.

I'm blacking out in all this pressure. I will never say sorry for doing what I did yesterday, being with that blue eyed blond haired boy was to get you back. Back for what you do to me, coming home every night bruised and bloody, I guess you get some sick enjoyment in letting them squirm in pleasure as you're fucking their brains out before you compress their airways and slowly let them die.

I wanted freedom but now I'm bound and restricted, convicted of being yours and imprisoned, I tried to give you up but now I'm addicted. You will squeeze the life out of me and suck it up, drinking and lapping at my heart.

Slowly I let my mind slip and slide down those mountainous slopes of sex and find myself remembering how everyone sees those nasty red marks and I know what they're thinking. Yet girls still pursue me, sometimes boys do too and I know you can't STAND that. I know how much you hate that, knowing that I even get the opportunity to up and leave you. But I'd never leave you, as you'd never leave me. No, not in this delicious life with those harsh demonic red eyes that consume and control, abuse and demand, I'll never leave you.

But you can never stop me, if I want to dance and drink all night then I can. These nights don't end until I'm ready for it to be over. I do what I do just to get by and then I need a release. You are my escape to paradise but when you're not home and when you're unwilling to have me because you are "tired" then I'll relocate myself to my friends. But you of course don't like that you don't like anything.

You can't lick your way into redemption for your sins. I won't let you reclaim yourself as the big brother I once knew because you are unworthy of that title.

Would you mind if I hurt you? Like you hurt me? I saw you coming to me again tonight, what did you do now? There is no denying that you want my mercy. I know I should stop believing you, I know you don't want me to leave you. You'd chase me if I tried to leave you, you'd capture me and oh what you'd do then. Why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us, me and you.

That milky skin so clad with battle wounds and scars, oh what have you done now? You smell so sweet, that's the drug in your system that screws you up like this. So you kiss me and toy with me and hold me, leaving those time-bomb candies again. I try to tell you to stop, to wait until you're sober but I can only plead through my eyes, you don't listen to my words. You'll get angry yet again if I speak.

My pulse is going to flat line soon, I can't take this anymore. This bruised and broken body is tired of being such a fighter. These wounded wrists, wounded with marks self-inflicted and bondage wrappings. You get mad when I self inflict my own wounds, your demon eyes flare and you curse at me and ask me why I do it again and again. But you know that I know that it won't stop… I just close my eyes, as I know this will go on for an eternity, it's blood and blood is good.

That's the real beauty to this sport, the real beauty of adult fuckery. You are the real beauty, the one that's unfit for holy marriages because you are sex. But don't let this all go to your ego as you're coming and I'm coming, because I tilt your head back just a little and see that milky ecstasy that is passionate love.


End file.
